A NEW LIFE

Yesterday began at 6 a.m. in my dorm room at Jungwon University and ended 2 hours away in Gumi, Gyeongsangbuk-do, in the home of my host family. Days like this are not long or short, but seem to exist almost outside of time, because they are deprived of the familiar. Here at my homestay I am entirely beholden to the whims of the family. I do not know when we eat dinner, where we sit, why people come and go as they do, but it is all right. They are like the ocean. They know what they are doing and their movement is as natural and regular as the waves. I am the jellyfish floating on top. I am carried along, without understanding or direction. But at the same time I am fulfilling my own life, one that simply coincides with this rhythmic household. As the jellyfish eats and lives within the waves, so I am fitting my pursuits into the tug and pull of this home. Now, because I know so very little, I allow myself to be tugged about indifferently. When it is time to eat I eat. When it is time to sit I sit. When it is time to sleep I sleep. There is little to punctuate the day, but the comings and goings of different members. Now sister goes to Hagwon. Later she returns. When there is laughter I laugh, but usually I don't know what it means.

My homestay household is jolly and light. Often Oma and Harmoeni are laughing, chatting, their speech punctuated only by the electric fan and barks from the neighbor's dog. Upstairs another sister studies, as does her father. Now Harmoeni sleeps. Now I sleep. When I wake up it is lunchtime. We sit at a small table moved into the living room for this purpose. We sit on the floor and eat cold noodles. They are delicious. I make broken conversation in both English and Korean. For some reason I ask all my questions in the past tense.

My family is sweet. I won't pretend I can understand even half the things they are saying, but I know — when they laugh together, when Father watches a music video with the daughters, when Oma uses her teasing voice — that this is a family. This afternoon I showed them pictures of my own family. I told them ages and names. Harmoeni told me via Oma that I should tell my parents not to be sad because my family here is very good. So, Mom, Dad, don't worry, my family here is very good.

It's strange after weeks of study and pressure at Jungwon to be thrust back into summer, but that seems to be what has happened. Here vacation has not ended yet and it is too hot to move anyways. The tv is almost always on and we watch or nap on the floor. I'm afraid of getting too used to this feeling when in fact school is starting on Monday. To help me remember I updated my calendar with all my goals for this year — home, teaching, travel and grad school. I've outlined the next steps in the grad school process, found out which festivals happen when, and made plans to join a gym and volunteer at the orphanage. It's just a few words on the screen, but it makes me feel better, more grounded.

The first meeting with my co-teachers yesterday was euphoric and chaotic. Before leaving Jungwon we held a ceremony, much like the placement ceremony, in which our provinces and then the names and schools of the ETAs in that province were called. In the brief pause between our names being called and our formal bows we were supposed to search for our co-teachers in the crowd. Often co-teachers or principles would find us, running to the front of the room to offer flowers, baskets, even confetti. I was smiling the whole time, mostly with the enjoyable adrenaline of a performance, but I was still a little sad and nervous when my name produced no flowers or anxious administrators. When the ceremony ended I was supposed to escort my principle and co-teacher to lunch, but I had no idea who they were. However, I was quickly approached by two smiling co-teachers who told me they had missed their chance to run to the front. They offered flowers and took pictures, but mostly I was relieved to find them such friendly (and young) people. Apparently yesterday was the first day of school so my principle had not been able to come pick me up. Of my co-teachers, one was a young man who teaches 3rd graders and one was a young woman who teaches 1st grade. The latter is my Fulbright co-teacher which means she looks out for me and helps me feel settled throughout the year. She is very kind and told me "even if not all days are good, I will be there with you every day." Both co-teachers were kind and reassuring, but they were also something I hadn't expected — they were funny. I think somewhere in orientation I forgot that maybe some parts of teaching would be fun — actual fun, not just the rewards of hard work. Honestly, together my co-teachers reminded me of a Kpop duo, or drama stars. Perhaps I was just that bedazzled yesterday, but I liked them a lot.

Writing 'yesterday' is very odd, since I'm sure I've been here at least 3 days already. I'm sure I feel this way partially because my Oma discovered I have a cold and so has been giving me cold medicine which makes me sleepy. Oma and Harmoeni were very concerned so I have also had a ginseng drink and been told to eat lots since that will make me better as well. Right now I feel very childlike — unable to really leave the house without getting lost. Oma has been taking special care of me — cutting up my food in case I don't use chopsticks well. I don't mind the feeling so much now as I'm sure it will pass quickly. My role here is, I suppose, only half-childlike since my Oma explained I will also be responsible for my own laundry and bathroom care. Thus we drove to Lotte Mart for me to buy detergent, toilet paper (or tissue here), socks, and anything else I realized I didn't have. My room here is small, but has one of only two beds in the house. My host sisters sleep on futons in the bedroom downstairs. I have also been invited to use the upstairs study room which is air conditioned and therefore wonderful.

The house is maybe not what I expected. In fact I expected an apartment since I know that is the most common form of housing in Korea. Instead I am in a little neighborhood next to the school in a lovely little two-story. The inside is spotlessly clean and meticulously decorated. Anytime anyone comes in or out, or food is eaten, Oma is there to wipe the surface spotless again. The living room is done up with wood-style flooring, bronze floral wallpaper and vases of fake roses and sunflowers. The room is elegant, but made comfortable by the electric fan and constant invitation to sit on the floor. Usually the tv is playing one drama or another which we all half-watch. Just being around everyone makes me feel more like this is home. The fact that I'm going to be here for a whole year, well, I am letting that settle slowly into that deep place below the waves of daily life.